May 11, 2008                                                Volume 13, Number 33

 

Mom says:

 

PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER: I don't care where you think you have to go, young man. Midnight is past your curfew!
 

MARY, MARY, QUITE CONTRARY'S MOTHER: I don't mind you having a garden, Mary, but does it have to be growing under your bed?

MONA LISA'S MOTHER: After all that money your father and I spent on braces, Mona, that's the biggest smile you can give us?
 

HUMPTY DUMPTY'S MOTHER: Humpty, if I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times not to sit on that wall. But would you listen to me? Noooo!

COLUMBUS' MOTHER: I don't care what you've discovered, Christopher. You still could have written!
 

BABE RUTH'S MOTHER: Babe, how many times have I told you to quit playing ball in the house! That's the third broken window this week!
 

MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER: Mike, can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?
 

NAPOLEON'S MOTHER: All right, Napoleon. If you aren't hiding your report card inside your jacket, then take your hand out of there and prove it!
 

CUSTER'S MOTHER: Now, George, remember what I told you - don't go biting off more than you can chew!
 

ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER: Again with the stovepipe hat, Abe? Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?
 

BARNEY'S MOTHER: I realize strained plums are your favorite, Barney, but you're starting to look a little purple.
 

MARY'S MOTHER: I'm not upset that your lamb followed you to school, Mary, but I would like to know how he got a better grade than you.
 

BATMAN'S MOTHER: It's a nice car, Bruce, but do you realize how much the insurance is going to be?

GOLDILOCKS' MOTHER: I've got a bill here for a busted chair from the Bear family. You know anything about this, Goldie?
 

LITTLE MISS MUFFET'S MOTHER: Well, all I've got to say is if you don't get off your tuffet and start cleaning your room, there'll be a lot more spiders around here!
 

ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER: But, Albert, it's your senior picture. Can't you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something...?
 

GEORGE WASHINGTON'S MOTHER: The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!
 

JONAH'S MOTHER: That's a nice story, but now tell me where you've really been for the last three days.
 

SUPERMAN'S MOTHER: Clark, your father and I have discussed it, and we've decided you can have your own telephone line. Now will you quit spending so much time in all those phone booths?